need to ask my lawyer if she can maybe ask to get my dads autopsy files and case file for me to look into. i feel like i should at least be allowed to see those.

I got a new desk,
well second hand new, but i really like it a lot.
might take a pic of it later, just gotta figure out how to do my cable configuration now that i dont have a cable net on the underside of my desk but im rlly pleased with it so far.

im cleaning my bedroom because theres someone coming to take pictures of the house for advertisement purposes.
people keep telling me my bedroom looks like something out of a psych ward and i just realised they may be right.
i just dont rlly see the need for a bedframe?
floor is good enough to sleep on??

also colored furniture gives me a headache.

ive been going through a bunch of other websites and ive noticed that a running theme with so many websites on neocities is that a lot of people will have some sort of page or blogpost detailing why theyre leaving social media which is to me really telling of how brainrotting those spaces really are.

im kinda of a mind to start collecting and saving these writings.
something about them idk.

i did add my own little passage like this on the homepage.
i havent fully deleted everything, because as an artist i still worked pretty hard to get the follower platform i do have on my instagram, even if it doesnt look like a lot to other people.
its basically a result of handing out business cards at conventions for two consectutive years and i dont really want to flush all that down the drain so for now i just scrubbed everything.
I did delete both of my twitter accounts, becauses i tend to just doomscroll on there.
twitter is fun but it also gives me a headache.
might not have been my smartest moment to straight up delete everything because i still need to reach out to a commissioner i only have the twitter url of. so ill have to find a way around that.

tumblr i kept because i see it as sort of the least evil of social media platforms, tho its not what it used to be.
RIP pre 2018 tumblr you are sorely missed.

dunno if i have any other ones?? uhh...

i still have toyhouse? does that count as social media? i think its more like an art/character archiving system. yeah.

yeah i think those are all. im really glad now that ive always kept back on joining social media migration bandwagons, means i have less work now.

i do think its mildly funny to see every few months a new platform pop up for everyone and their grandma to pack their virtual bags and hop on there saying "im moving platforms i wont be posting here anymore." only to check back a few months later and see their new fangled shiny social platform thrown by the wayside, like the mouldy butt of a loaf of bread. probably because the new shiny platform doesnt offer the same engagement the old big tech platform does.

im actually glad ill be quitting my business so i wont really be tied to social media anymore, like i wont need it to advertise my being at conventions and such. ill say that this has also greatly tired me out.
having to be active online for the sake of my financial success. its really made me rethink wether being a small-business owner is really the path for me.

i have a year now to focus on other things so i guess we'll see how i feel by the end of it.

sometimes i think i should make my website mobile friendly for people to more easlily browse it but it stands against the reason why i initially made this website.
to get away from social media, which has been bad for my brain and mental health for the past years, and to spend less time on my phone.
so i think ill leave it for now.

oh also ive been listening nonstop to this album, its really good.

i initally saw this band live at brosella, and tbh it was the only band that i actually enjoyed that day.
i feel like lately the festival has become very hit or miss. i usually find one or two bands there that i end up listening to a lot but most of the artists that play there dont really resonate with me.

i need to get a new strainer bcs i left the old one on the stovetop when it was on and the whole bottom melted.
i'll probably get one from the thrift store bcs i dont want a brand new one.
i do wish thrift stores here had more options compared to what i often see on american thrift store videos.
theres so much stuff there.

"With this adulting thing they keep moving the marker, they just keep moving it.
its like i just got here and now you're telling me that here doesn't exist its actually there
and then i get there and thats not here either.
but where i am now was a place i once wanted to be, and i think reconciliation is being able to say look at where we are now."